I recently learned a word that explains my relationship with hex bolts — resistentialism: the belief that “inanimate objects display hostile desires towards human beings.” Hex bolts, and the hex keys designed to tighten and loosen them, seem to hate me. When I have to remove a hex bolt, the bolt is usually hiding deep in a cranny that allows for about 15 degrees of rotation before I must remove the hex key, rotate it, and start again.

Hurray for the Ratcheting Hex Key Wrench from ProTool. It’s is a traitor to the world of inanimate objects, choosing to align itself with the interests of human beings rather than the bestiary of motherless objects from which it springs. This $17 gem comes with nine chrome-plated vanadium steel keys hardened with a coating of black oxide, making short work of malevolent hex bolts. Besides, I’m a sucker for the clickety-clickety sound and feel of ratchet tools. I pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Almighty Dobbs that it never turns against me.